Confessions

MY FAT

It is often said that confession is good for the soul. It is, however, pretty rough on the ego.

The purpose of my blog is to hold me accountable during my journey to not just lose weight but change my lifestyle as it pertains to food and exercise.  In order to do that I need to be transparent (not one of my strengths). The overall tone of this blog will be decidedly light-hearted. So I thought I would start off with the heavy stuff (no pun intended) and get that out of the way.

Confession #1:

I weigh in excess of 400 lbs. (yikes!).  Even as I write that it’s hard to believe.  In my mind I’m an average sized guy. When I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror it surprises me at times. I am large. I mean “little kids staring with mouths agape when I pick up my boys from school” large. The problem is I just don’t see myself like that at all.  My brain is like that overly compassionate friend who is willing to convincingly lie to your face when you ask their opinion about something you know is bad, but you ask them anyway because you know they will find a way to make you feel better about the horrible decision you just made. So I’m cutting it off. Well, not completely. I’m partial to my brain but I’m not listening to its platitudes anymore. Brain, I’m fat! Let’s fix it!

Confession #2:

I’m a boredom eater. One of my many bad choices when it comes to food involved my very long commute. It was a boring and sometimes unending ride home.  It could take me anywhere from an hour and a half to 3 hours. My go-to move was to grab a bag of chips or two and a big cup of lemonade. I rationalized that it was dinner time, I was hungry and it would help pass the time. If I’m being honest (which is the whole point of this) both bags of chips and the drink were gone in 15 minutes-not really helping pass the time.

At home if I have some down time I tend to migrate toward the pantry and eat my way through a tv show or sporting event. When I was a kid it was a mistake to utter the words, “I’m bored” anywhere near my mother. She would immediate set out to resolve our boredom and more often then not it was through chores. Keeping up with this blog should help alleviate some of the boredom. I’ve seen my wife keep hers running at 365ish days of pinterest and there is certainly no shortage of work there.

Confession #3:

I am a people pleaser. I’m not entirely sure that is the most accurate description of me but I’ll explain. Ever since I was a kid I was a ham. I love to make people laugh and be the center of attention.  I crave it sometimes.  I could never survive as a hermit.  The fault in this is that it makes me a glory hound as well.  I enjoy (and sometimes need) the praise of other people. It’s far too often what motivates me.  It has probably gotten me into more trouble than I care to admit.

My desire through this blog is to utilize that weakness and transform it into a strength. By using my (often obnoxious) need to be the center of attention to motivate me to do something positive, which in this case is lose weight.   Now I need to make this understood:  It is not my only motivation or I would just post positive things all the time and bask in the compliments. 

I hope that you will help me as I try to become a better, smaller version of me.  If I need encouragement I would hope you would provide it. If I need admonition I also hope you would be quick to dole that out. If so, I thank you in advance for your support. I look forward to what the future holds.

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