New Year; Fresh Start

Hello Media.

I know.  It’s been three weeks since my last post.  Not only have I failed at making this a habit (not giving up on that), but I also want to offer up many excuses (some legitimate) as to why I haven’t posted the last few weeks.  The cold hard truth is that I haven’t wanted to sit down at the computer and write out the post.  Honestly, how lazy am I that I don’t want to do a task that requires me to sit and only move my fingers?  It’s not like I don’t have good things to update.  It’s not like I have bad things to tell you. I just didn’t want to type.  For that I apologize.  When I started out I made the commitment to lose weight and communicate that journey.  I can’t be faithful to one and neglect the other.  So please forgive my laziness.  I will endeavor to be more consistent with my responsibilities moving forward.

That was how I started the last entry I posted to my blog.  These last few weeks since then have been a great big fail.  Not only was I not “more consistent with my responsibilities” but I failed in so many other ways.

I have never really felt the holiday crush when it comes to trying to eat right and exercise faithfully. The reason for that is due mostly to the fact that I haven’t really cared before.  I wasn’t trying to eat right, I just ate.  I wasn’t trying to exercise faithfully I just did what I wanted to do (which more often than not consisted of doing nothing). This year was different.  I was committed to eating right and exercising but when it came down to it, I was no match for the onslaught of holiday activities–most of which include minimal activity and lots of eating spectacularly not good for you food.

I struggled most with the eating right part.  That statement alone could aptly sum up my life let alone the last 6 weeks.  It could be on my tombstone:  Here lies Jared.  He was a nice guy, thought he was way funnier than he was but mostly he struggled with the eating right part.  I know I don’t have to remind you about all the fantastic food one is enticed to eat in the holiday season.  Just suffice it to say that when the opportunity presented itself I more often than not accepted the challenge to eat as much as I could rather than politely decline.

Exercising faithfully was not as big of a problem but I still consider it a fail.  Through this time I still went to the gym regularly with the exception of the week of Christmas and the following week.  I used the hectic nature of my work at Christmas (and it was stupid crazy) and the fact that I had been faithful to that point as an excuse to take a couple of weeks off.  But really I would have jumped at any excuse I could to take a break.

The thing that I feel was my most miserable failure though was this blog.  The other day I got an email from a fitness app I had years ago.  One article was about the #1 habit all weight loss programs should have.  A cross fit trainer got all his fitness buddies to write out their most common fitness habits.  They narrowed the list down to 167.  That was obviously too many for a successful blog post (who is going to open a post called “167 Essential Fitness Habits”). So the cross fit trainer decided to define “habit”.  He came to the conclusion that a habit was something you did almost subconsciously. That definition eliminated their entire list.  If they were aware of their habits enough to write out 167 of them then they weren’t as subconscious as they thought.  As he discussed this with his fitness buddies, he realized that the most essential thing to effective weight loss was what he was doing at that moment: Sharing the journey.

The not so old adage goes: If someone works out and doesn’t post it to social media, did it really happen? We’ve all seen the countless images on Instagram and Facebook of people working out (I enjoy the fails the most). Most of them admittedly are doing it out of vanity and pride.  But a few are endeavoring to attain an element of accountability.  I decided I need to start doing this.  Truth is I can’t sit down and bang out a blog post every couple of days.  But I can keep a stream of information flowing through other means.

I have several social media accounts set up to which I will be posting daily updates of my  journey including things I’ve eaten (or things I’ve not eaten but wanted to), exercise times and accomplishments and general information I found useful.  So basically I’ll be using social media to post pictures of food and myself (original, I know) but this time it will be for a purpose.  If you do not already follow me on these networks I will list how to find me below. If social media isn’t really your thing I will continue to post weekly to the blog.  Not only will this allow me to communicate more openly with you but you can more easily communicate with me as well.  If you want to encourage me, share a tip or just call me out on general laziness I welcome it.

Thank you for your patience and sticking with me so far.  I hope to be more consistent and faithful going forward on this journey.  But if I start to slack off just say something. After all, that’s what I need from you the most.

Facebook: Jared Burkholder

Twitter: @myfatskinnyguy

Instagram: jaredburk02 or just search #myfatskinnyguy

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Two Truths and a Lie

two truthsand a lie

I know.  It’s been a three weeks since my last post.  Not only have a failed at making this a habit (not giving up on that), but I also want to offer up many excuses (some legitimate) as to why I haven’t posted the last few weeks.  The cold hard truth is that I haven’t wanted to sit down at the computer and write out the post.  Honestly, how lazy am I that I don’t want to do a task that requires me to sit and only move my fingers?  It’s not like I don’t have good things to update.  It’s not like I have bad things to tell you. I just didn’t want to type.  For that I apologize.  When I started out I made the commitment to lose weight and communicate that journey.  I can’t be faithful to one and neglect the other.  So please forgive my laziness.  I will endeavor to be more consistent with my responsibilities moving forward.

As I have just read that last paragraph to myself, I realized that knowing I had to write that was a big hurdle in writing the next post.  I am relieved that is out of the way and we can move forward now and get to the real purpose of this post.

Truth #1:

When I started out one of the first confessions I made was that I weighed in excess of 400 lbs. I didn’t tell you how much exactly because it was hard enough to generalize without going in to particulars.  I have good news on that score.  I no longer weigh in excess of 400 lbs. I just returned from the gym and my official weight lost is now at 38 lbs.  Which puts me 2 pounds under 400. I’ll let all of you with a basic knowledge of math figure out my starting weight. I am very happy to be under that number but if you’ve done your math right you can see I have a long way to go. Celebrating it feels like that football player who dances and beats his chest in the end zone after scoring while his team is still down by 30 points. Still for now I am grateful to have reached the first milestone.

Truth #2:

The last 8 lbs. have been harder to lose than the first 30. I realize this isn’t a shocking revelation. No one would argue that losing weight gets easier the longer you go. I haven’t been eating terribly.  I may have made a few choices I wouldn’t have made when I started out but overall I’ve behaved. I have really been enjoying my time at the gym. It hasn’t necessarily gotten easier.  I still have to drag myself into the gym at the end of the night, but I’m doing it. I’m okay with the slow down in weight loss as long as I continue to lose.  I know this is a long road and I need to be patient and see it through. One of my problems has been my inability (or unwillingness rather) to see the long term affects of my actions both good and bad.  I’m all about the here and now and sometimes at the cost of the future. I am a little too quick to sacrifice the permanent on the altar of the immediate.  So for now slow and steady wins the race.

The Lie:

When it comes to my weight there are many lies I have told myself.  Some of them have been confessed on this blog.  One of them I didn’t even realize until a couple of weeks ago.  I have admitted to the fact that I am a bored eater.  If you would have asked me if I was an emotional eater I would have told you no.  That is a lie.  I am a VERY emotional eater.  I realized this after a particularly trying morning at work.  When it came time to eat lunch I ordered a plate of the extremely tasty (but decidedly not good for you) Nachos. As I sat down to eat I looked at the plate and the Fat Skinny Guy asked me what in the world I thought I was doing. The Fat Fat Guy told him to shut up and mind his own business.  The Fat Skinny Guy insisted it was his business and a piece of the big picture became clear to me.

Do you remember those magic eye picture that were all the rage back in the 90’s.  You had to look at them dead center, let your eyes glaze over and cross them a bit to reveal a 3D picture hidden in the jumble of geometric shapes and colors. When you finally locked on to a bit of the picture  your eyes would adjust and you could see the whole thing.  That is exactly what happened to me that afternoon. I finally caught a glimpse of the picture and it changed the perspective I had on my emotional food decisions.

I eat my emotions. What better way to celebrate than with a bowl of ice cream and chocolate chip cookies? What better way to cope with a stressful day than to dive into a big plate of nachos? What better way to revel in the comfort of a rainy day than with a bread bowl filled with Corn Chowder? I often will begin to eat because I’m hungry but the problem is I eat every time like I’m trying to abolish my own personal hunger for all time. I won’t be able to sever the connection between emotions and eating. It is an integral part of our society. What I can do, now that I’m aware of it, is make sure that I’m not making bad decisions because I feel like I’ve emotionally earned the right.

There you have it.  A milestone reached and a flaw acknowledged.  Whew, what an emotionally trying post. This is normally where I would bury my emotions in a bag of chips or a box of cookies. I need to find another avenue to process my emotions.  I’ll work on that and let you know how it comes out. For now I’m going to put padlocks on fridge and pantry and tie myself to a chair until this flood of emotions pass.  Thanks for reading.

My Unsolicited Advice

fatties have feelings too

I’m a big guy.  I’m probably big enough that people may occasionally do a double take when they first see me.  I say probably because as I stated in an earlier post I don’t always see myself in those terms.  This is not something I’m proud of and is a considerable factor in my decision and determination to shed the excess weight that I’ve been carrying around all these years.  Because I am so big, I seem to engender concern in people (many of whom are perfect strangers) so much that some of them are compelled to share with me all manner of ways in which I could lose weight.

This, admittedly, is preferable to the ones who just feel the need to point out the fact that I’m large. This is usually done by older persons (man or woman-doesn’t matter, rudeness knows no gender) who have lived beyond the expiration of their social decorum.  I never know quite what to say.

Older person: “Well, you’re a big one, aren’t ya?”
Me: “Yep, It’s nice to see your visual acuity hasn’t diminished with your ability to be appropriate.”

Me: “Here’s your table. Could I get you started with an appetizer?”
Older person: “Well, they’re obviously good. I imagine you’ve had a lot of them.”
Me: “They sure are. I’ll be sure to tell the cook to put a rush on it. Don’t you go dying on me before I can get it out here.”

Older person: “Did you save us any food?”
Me: “Absolutely, I always leave a few arsenic laced morsels for my special customers.”

Now, it should be pointed out that these are actual statements I have actually heard from actual people at my restaurants.  My words were all internalized and replaced with polite diplomatic responses because I’m a human being and I still have the capacity not to intentionally slight a perfect stranger because I’m too old to care.

Thursday was an especially annoying day for me.  I had three different occasions where people came up to me and told me how I should go about losing weight.  (It is imperative that I add this disclaimer that I am not including my cousin in this group. She messaged me and asked if she could share somethings with me about my weight loss journey. To which I replied that it would be okay, because I know her and I know that she cares for me).  The first occasion was early morning at the gym. I was working out when some person I had never met before (obviously an EGO) came up to me and told me that I was doing it all wrong. He then proceeded to tell me what I should be doing.  I have no idea what he said because I didn’t want to listen to him. He may very well have had good ideas but because he handled it so poorly I immediately tuned him out.  I asked him if he was a trainer and he said no and that he just really liked to exercise.  I told him I heard they were hiring trainers and that he should go apply as I slipped my earbuds back in (the international sign of This Conversation is Done.)

The second was a regular customer at my diner.  Perhaps they thought that because we see each other occasionally and I serve them coffee that they are somehow now in a position to tell me how to diet. Far be it from me to reject advice from a skinny person (they’re obviously doing something right), I probably will pass on any advice from someone who has been admitted to the hospital for malnutrition 3 times in the past 18 months. You see I don’t just want to be skinny, I want to be healthy. Thanks, but it’s a hard pass.

The third and most egregious offender was from the most vocal of weight loss experts: the Former Fatty! No one knows more about weight loss than someone who has lost it. And no one is more eager to tell you their story than that same person. This particular FF was a 50 year old man who claimed to have lost 186 pounds in his life. I joked that I’ve easily lost that much if you total it all together but with 186 pounds he also lost his sense of humor.

He was a bit caustic and he began to lay into me how I could lose weight.  His solution: Squeeze two lemons into a glass with three fingers of water. Drink that every morning when I wake up and every night before bed.  Then walk or run one hour and thirty minutes every morning.  Now he had decent ideas but I don’t care mostly because the acidity from all of those lemons he consumes has leaked into his personality.  His most passionate reason for losing weight he claimed was because his wife didn’t want to have to call 911 in the middle of the night.  A truly compelling reason if ever there was one. However, it lost some of its luster when he stepped outside for a smoke for the third time of his 45 minute visit.

What I’m trying to say is that I know I’m fat.  I’m trying to do something about it. But if you want to give me advice (or anyone for that matter) first let me know that you care and then I’ll care about what you know.  So if you see a fatty walking down the street and the urge swells within you to give them advice (even compassionately) just hold on to it. Say a quick prayer that they will either become aware of their situation or if they are already aware then pray that they will have the strength to continue the journey and the fortitude not to strangle the next person who points out the fact that they’re fat.

Excuses and Habits

Hello Media.

I have to apologize.  Half of October is done and gone and this will be my first post for the month.  There are several reasons as to why but when the title of your post is “Excuses and Habits” then I can’t very well start off by making excuses.

The truth is I am an excuse guy.  I have referred to the fact earlier that I am a people-pleaser.  A byproduct of that is I have the ability to be diplomatic.  It’s not all bad.  When dealing with people, especially ones who may be upset, it is a very useful tool.  I can craft words to allay hurt feelings and bring peace. But just like any super power it can be used for evil.  I happen also to be adept at crafting words to get myself out of trouble.  There are some things that no amount of words can save you from but when it comes to diet and exercise the stakes are considerably lower.

Allow me to illustrate.  The second of October was the 18th anniversary of  our first date.  We celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary back in July but to be honest, celebrate is a strong term.  So we decided to take a couple of days to get away in conjunction with our church’s couples retreat. We had a good time.  We went disc golfing (which I have discovered is excellent exercise), took a stroll along the San Diego waterfront and even went to a craft faire (feel free to follow that humorous adventure at my wife’s blog). This was by far one of the more active getaways we’ve had.  We also ate pretty well.  We basically ignored some of the rules we established for our current diets (I say rules, they’re really more guidelines).  So we were busy and spending quality time together and it became a handy (and justifiable) excuse for not posting.

The best excuses are the ones that are crafted with a really good reason.  For example, I have been battling a cold the last few days.  It was so bad that it sapped all my energy and I skipped the gym for a few days.  Anyone looking at it objectively would see that I was justified. But if I am be honest with myself, if I somehow found the strength to work a 10 hour day I could probably have found the strength to go to the gym for 30 minutes.

Because excuses are so readily available I wield them with the precision of a politician.  My seventh grade teacher defined an excuse as “the skin of a reason stuffed with a lie”.  I always felt that was harsh.  There were plenty of times when an excuse was perfectly justified. I still believe that is an over simplification but the truth is that once you use an excuse (even justified) it becomes so much easier to do it again and again whether it’s justified or not.

Which leads me to the last half of the title.  Something else that my seventh grade teacher said was that it takes 3 weeks for something to become a habit.  I think he missed the mark slightly on this one too.  It takes 3 weeks for something to become a good habit (some times longer). It takes far less time for something to become a bad habit.

I am all-world when it comes to making bad habits.  I am not even in little league when it comes to making good habits.  I am as sincere as the next person when it comes to resolutions. It’s the resolve that I generally lack.  I had been rolling along pretty well for the last few weeks.  I hit the gym regularly, ate well and was losing weight.  I plateaued a little.  I am officially at 32 lbs. lost but I have fallen off the pace.  This is where I usually give up and go back to my bad habits.  That is where the blog comes in to play.  I have painted myself into a corner.  I can’t just go back because I put myself out there.  It’s a good thing.  I did it because I knew I needed it.

I guess that ultimately I wanted to say thank you to all of you who read this and respond with encouraging words.  When I reach my goals I will have done so because of the chorus of voices that have cheered me on along the way.  It is my journey to take but I am very glad to have company. After all, I am a people person.

Jared and the Fat Man

Untitled design (1)

So far all of these posts have been written by the fat skinny guy inside me.  Over the past six weeks I have had pretty good success staying on point.  The fat skinny guy inside me has been ecstatic.  He’s enjoyed eating right, exercising and clothes fitting better.  He’s had a pretty good run.

Mean while, the fat fat guy inside me has been brooding and sulking like a teenager sent to his room without any wi-fi access.  He begrudgingly admits that while he has been forced to eat healthier it has still been pretty good food.  I’m pretty sure he was the one who sabotaged the couple of work outs I missed, no doubt reveling in the extra victory sleep he earned himself with his nefarious deeds (even if the victories were short lived when I squeezed in a make up trip to gym later in the week).

He did have one other “Win” this week.  Our church, every 4-6 weeks will schedule a hospitality night.  This is intended to give the church members a chance to get together with other families and enjoy a bit of fellowship.  A young married couple (Thanks Phil and Sarah) invited us over and since we usually are hosting rather than being hosted we were excited to go.  Now I’m not sure if it was the eclipse or the super moon or if Saturn was in retro-grade (that’s a thing right?) but I’m pretty sure that the fat fat guy ruled the night.  I imagine they had a conversation that went something like this:

FatFat: “Dude, you’ve never been invited to someone’s house before. It’s very important that you follow the rules or you could risk offending them.”

FatSkinny: “Oh, really?  I don’t want to offend anyone.”

FatFat: “Of course you don’t.  So let me take the lead tonight.  I promise I’ll stick to the plan.

The fat skinny guy inside me is very trusting and let the fat fat guy take the lead.  For the first part of the night he behaved himself.  He had a couple of small carnitas tacos with lots of onions and cilantro and just a little bit of the avocado salsa on top.  Together they licked the plate clean.  The fat skinny guy was content and satisfied.  The fat fat guy was just getting going.  When he got up to get more, the conversation continued:

FatSkinny: “Dude, what are you doing?  We just ate. We’re good.”

FatFat: “Man, you don’t know anything do you.  Sarah is a Filipina.”

FatSkinny: “So.”

FatFat: “Dude, we cleaned our plate.  That’s very offensive in her culture.  You need to leave a little on the plate so that she knows you’re full.”

FatSkinny: “That’s not true.  Besides, she knows we’re dieting she’ll understand.”

FatFat: “Oh, she’ll say she understands but inside she’ll be crying bitter tears as you trample all over her culture and people. Do you really want to upset this lovely young lady? Can you live with yourself knowing that you have caused her great embarrassment and she’ll never be able to host another dinner again?  Are you a monster?  Are you dead inside?”

FatSkinny: “Okay, okay.  But just grab a little and eat even less of it.”

After eating a second, FULL plate, the fat fat guy was hitting his stride.

FatSkinny: “Dude, you ate the whole thing.  You were supposed to leave some on the plate so she wouldn’t be offended. Now you have to get more.”

FatFat: “No way man, I’m stuffed.  I couldn’t eat another bite.”

FatSkinny: “WHAT?!”

FatFat: “Besides, we still have dessert.”

FatSkinny:”We are so not having dessert. We’ve eaten way too much already.”

FatFat: “Hey, we have to have dessert. They went through all that effort to make us food. It would be rude not to eat it.”

FatSkinny: “Fine! One small piece. But I am not happy”

Eats dessert.

FatFat: “Oh man, that was fantastic. I think those were lemon bars?”

FatSkinny: “How could you tell?  You inhaled them so fast I’m surprised any of it was on your tongue long enough to taste it. And I said one small piece. You  didn’t have to eat two and Nicole’s!”

The fat fat guy paid dearly the next couple of days.  The fat skinny guy pushed him at the gym harder than he’s been pushed to this point. Determined to make up any ground we may have lost eating like a glutton.  I sweated more, ran harder, and biked farther setting new personal bests in all three categories.  I went to the gym at 5:30am and I’m pretty sure it was noon before I stopped sweating.  Despite the fat fat guys best efforts, I am still weighing in at 28 lbs. lighter than when I started.

I learned something about myself this week.  I have no will power at other people’s homes. So if you invite us  to dinner, please understand in advance I will have to say no to some foods.  I don’t want to offend you. I just can’t take the extra work at the gym.

My Goals

HOW MUCH I AM

Ever since I was a kid I have loved to play sports.  I would play almost anything-even soccer. I remember summer days spent outside until the street lights came on playing baseball with a handful of kids, a bat and an old tennis ball. It didn’t matter what we were playing, I wanted to be the best and I wanted to win.

I still have that competitive fire in my belly (there’s ample room for that now). I still have a love for sports and will, given the opportunity, play anything I can (even soccer-but only if there’s absolutely nothing else to do). As my weight has climbed those ventures have become more difficult and fewer and farther between.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to play a friendly game of softball (friendly meaning one in which my deteriorating skills will go largely unnoticed). I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  After loading up on Ibuprofen I began to think about the fat skinny guy inside me and pictured what he would be saying.

The fat fat guy was exhausted and trying to figure out why we went outside instead of staying home and watching a Psych marathon on TV. But the fat skinny guy (who I am happy to report is feeling trimmer these days having lost a full 15 lbs) was ecstatic.  He was all geeked out about playing sports again and started listing all of the things we’re going to do once our body is cooperative. So I thought I would share some of those things with you in the form of goals.

GOAL #1:

Run a race by my 40th birthday.

I shared this one with my wife the other day. I was a little tentative about sharing this goal with her as the last one I shared with her (my dream to own an Audi) was not only laughed at but she shot it to pieces and lit the tattered remains on fire. However I know my wife loves me and am confident she would support a realistic goal (even one as unrealistic as me running a race). Instead she insisted that I could do it well before my 40th birthday which is still a little over three years away.

I have to be honest, I really don’t enjoy running at all. Even back when it was easy to do. Unless I was running whilst carrying a football or rounding the bases I didn’t really do it.  So I have no desire to become a runner. I don’t even want to run a marathon (the thought of which makes me chuckle to myself) or a half. I might be able to tolerate a 5k or a 10k if it’s like a mud run or something. So as a compromise to my wife’s insistence that I not wait until I’m 40 I have recorded as a goal to run a race by my 40th birthday. That gives me three years to find something that will interest me. And also gives me some time to get to a weight that won’t engender chortles at the starting line.

GOAL #2:

Fit comfortably in a seat at a baseball game.

I love baseball and I have a young boy who is super interested in sports. I am currently waging a battle against his mother and all of Southern California for his fandom. I am a Giants fan! Since I was 9 I have loved the orange and black.  I even named our first dog after the Giants then skipper Dusty Baker. My wife will insist that it was because of the dusty looking spots under her fur but it was my name and I know its true inspiration.  I want my boy to like the Giants too. I want to take him to a Giants home game and go early so we can get an autograph or two. I know this would seal the deal for him and make him a Giant for life. But as it stands right now those chairs are extremely uncomfortable for me to sit in for three hours.  So I have officially made this a goal for which I will strive.

GOAL #3:

Play on a rec-league softball team. 

Have I mentioned I love baseball? I want to play it again without being a detriment to the team.  I am an infielder.  Even as a kid I was far too slow for the outfield. I have in the past played third base and short stop.  I would love to return to the diamond but right now I have a hard enough time getting to a ball let alone bending over and picking it up.  My batting has also suffered greatly.  It’s hard to get around on an inside pitch when the inside is crowded by a considerable amount of body.

GOAL #4:

Fit comfortably in an airline seat.

I love my wife.  I made a promise to her a few years ago that I have not been able to keep as of yet.  That promise was to take her on a really great vacation.  There are several reasons we haven’t done this yet, not the least of which is financial.  That being said one major deterrent  is any really great vacation will require air travel (I’m so not a driving vacation kind of guy).  The last few times I’ve flown I’ve needed a seat belt extender.  I hate asking for one because the flight attendant always looks disdainfully at me, I’m sure wondering why I bother to fly in the first place.  It’s embarrassing but I’ve endured it.

The real reason I don’t want to fly is because those airline seats are not built for such a load as this.  I have never had to buy a second seat for myself but I am sure I would be mortified to do so.  I want to fly to the east coast with my wife and take a Caribbean cruise. I would like to sit next to her on a plane without adding any burden to her seat or (as has happened in the past) forcing her out into the aisle to get a little space.  I want to have my own seat, be able to put the arm rest down and use only the one seat belt.  Oh, and maybe be able to get the tray table to lay flat in front of me so I don’t have to use the one next to me to place my drink and bag of peanuts.

I have many other goals to be sure.  I will not belabor you with them at this point but I will share more with you as I progress. I will also share when I have reached these goals. If you haven’t already heard me shouting about it in exuberance.

Crossing the Starting Line

imageWeek one is in the books.  I have to say it was a good week.  The fat skinny guy inside me is happy–a little tired but happy nonetheless. I took my “before” picture (above) and after one week of faithfully exercising, a bout with stomach flu and eating properly I have lost 13 lbs.

This is when I would normally celebrate with a large bowl of Bear Claw Ice Cream and chocolate chip cookies (Great, now I really want that).  Thankfully, the fat skinny guy inside is in control and wants to keep the momentum rolling.

I joined a gym.  It is in the same parking lot as the restaurant I manage.  I have gone 5 times in the past week.  I have worked mostly on the exercise bike.  I like the elliptic glider as it allows me to run without putting too much pressure on my knees.  I fear, however that I may be a little too heavy for them yet. They have a tendency to cry out in protest with every revolution of the wheel announcing loudly to all around, “A fat guy is exercising”.  So for now I am content to bike and use the treadmill for my cool down time.

I haven’t gotten into the weights yet.  That seems a little daunting as that portion of the gym is largely populated by overly muscular men and women grunting with each rep.  I may venture over there someday but it’ll have to be later on when I don’t feel like a kid trying to join an adult conversation.

As far as food goes I have made good choices this week (yeah me).  One of my cooks is very excited for me and has vowed to only make me healthy food while at work (even if I order something unhealthy).  I downloaded an app to my phone which allows me to track what I’m eating.  I think that having to type it in my phone (and post here) has helped me.  I don’t want to have to post something bad so I’m not eating it.

I did struggle a little at times. Wednesday night after work I did not want to exercise at all.   I was tired and I wanted to go home and sleep. I sat in the car for and extra five minutes but I finally found the will power (knowing that I would have to record my failure here helped a lot). On the way home I was starving as it had been about 7 hours since I’d eaten and I worked hard and then exercised.  I pulled into the only place open at 4:00 am.  Jeff in the Cube (names have been changed to avoid any legal trouble)!

I pulled out my phone and looked at the calorie count.  I quickly realized that not only was there nothing on the menu under 600 calories but I didn’t want to eat that many.  Did you read that?  “I DIDN’T want to”. This is a first for me. I always WANT to. But thankfully all that dieting and exercise seems to have started to change my “want to”.

So I’m off to a good start.  Thanks to all those at work and home who have pushed me and encouraged me this week. I appreciate you.